Animated Bible Myths: Adam and Eve

Animated Bible Myths: Adam and Eve

This is the Christian god. He’s a ghost and his own dad. It gets complicated when you have multiple personality disorder. Now his real name has been lost in history, which may be why we can never get his attention anymore! But you’d try to hide your real name too if it was Dinkleberry! His story goes back a long way, but for time’s sake we’ll start with Biblical book of Genesis. Dinkleberry has been sitting alone in the dark for eternity. He finally gets bored and speaks light and the universe into existence. While at it, he creates vestigial organs, ring species, and increases the speed of light for stars placed billions of light years away. He decreases the half-life of radioactive isotopes, and organizes the fossil record – all as a cruel joke on scientists, and so he can test your faith. He wanted to use evolution but was afraid if it took longer than six days, he’d miss church. Attention hungry, and in desperate need of someone to manage his new creation, Dinkleberry breathes on a handful of dusty powder (probably cocaine) and makes his doppelganger, Adam. This exhausts him, so he calls a holiday and demands worship. Now every critter on earth is given something to shag. . Except for Adam. Dinkleberry realizes after the fact that he’s not a suitable partner for Adam. So he anesthetizes the man, yanks a rib out of him, and turns it into Eve. Eve is really just there to cause trouble and spit out babies, but you can’t have too high expectations from a plate of ribs. Wha? Don’t look at ME like that! The Bible hates women. I didn’t write it! Adam on the other hand is given the tremendous responsibility of gardening and naming all of the animals, and since there’s millions of them, he either had a lot of time or a killer memory, but probably not the latter given what happens next. A slimy, blathering reptile comes along and promises the lovely, young couple knowledge. After all, they’re kind of stupid, but they want to be just like their heavenly dad. – minus the multiple personalities of course! To get smart, they must gobble a hunk of fruit that Dinkleberry specifically told them not to eat on pain of death. The Bible doesn’t say exactly what kind of fruit it was, probably because Adam forgot, and nobody wrote it down, but it was most likely a Jabuticaba. They forget God’s command and eat it anyway. Seriously!? Who put this half-wit in charge of humanity’s fate? Oh that’s right… To the couple’s credit, at this point, Dinkleberry hasn’t given either of them any knowledge of right and wrong, so they don’t really know that disobedience is bad. But he punishes them anyway, because after all, they did eat from the deliciously alluring tree that he placed smack dab in the middle of their garden. Spoiler alert! Because Dinkles knows how reverse psychology works, this was really all part of his master suicide plan, but we’ll get to that in a future video. The first couple doesn’t actually die straight away, but as punishment for their sin, humanity is cursed with two different kinds of hard labor – at least until white collar jobs and anesthesia come along. Dinkleberry evicts Adam and Eve from their garden, placing a fiery sword-man on duty to guard its bushy entrance. and that’s the last we hear of it. His final command to the poor couple is to have a TON of babies. So they wander off into the wilderness and create a plethora of little meat sacks who have to reproduce incestuously in order to populate the earth. Don’t worry about genetics. Science didn’t work back then. Adam lives for 930 years, for no reason at all, before biting the dust he came from. If Genghis Khan had lived that long, he’d still be pillaging and raping your mom. Most of Adam’s years were spent in the garden naming animals, because with over 100 million species, it would have taken 900 years at a rate of one every 5 minutes to name them all. That’s without sleep, and assuming he worked on Sunday. But the Bible says he did it, and who am I to ask questions. After Adam and Eve ate the Jabuticaba, they instantly realized that they were naked. And even though they were the only people on earth, and a nudist colony probably would have been OK, Dinkleberry slaughters and skins an animal for them. They get a coat, and he doesn’t have to stare at their junk. Dinkleberry hates foreskins, but he wouldn’t teach them how to cut one off for another few thousand years. Adam’s sin cursed all of humanity. Including you, your grandma, and your baby nephew, Timmy. Because of it, Dinkleberry created an eternal, fiery torture pit just for the lot of you. Unless of course, you sacrifice your critical faculties and believe in this ridiculous fairytale. And then you’ll get to go to shiny, happy, fun land and worship Dinkleberry forever and ever! (victorious kazoo!) Also, if you don’t like, subscribe, and share this video, then there’s a terrible, eternal, fiery torture awaiting you. Well… Probably not. But is it really worth the risk?

99 thoughts on “Animated Bible Myths: Adam and Eve”

  1. Can anyone tell me why people liked foreskins so much in the Bible, my thoughts on it is maybe it’s like proof of a forced conversion

  2. I personally just love it when I confront a chrisitan with this (used to be christian myself, obviously no longer am) and they say that its just symbolism but when its more comfortable its then a fact. Like wtf.

  3. This is a good depiction of how Christian fundamentalists read the Bible. However, other Christians see this story as an allegory or reflection. For example, the eating of the "fruit" which is often called an apple and sometimes the fruit of wisdom, refers to the cultural and evolutionary step away from other animals as we gained the ability to abstract, reflect and have a sense of time. Without them we would easily live in paradise. The age of 900 years and other Biblical ages refer to a Semitic cultural concept that names a tribe or family after the head of the family, and as long as the family exists all offspring belong to the family and it keeps the name of the initial leader. You can ask a rabbi about that.

  4. Hi! I want to do similar videos for the Spanish speaking YouTube community. How can I learn to do this kind pf simple animations? What software do you use?
    Thanks in advance

  5. The people who originally wrote the bible werent aware of how many animals were on earth which is why the story of Noah's ark doesn't seem so far fetched……to the original authors.

  6. Is there a church of Dinkleberry anywhere and are the followers known as Dinkles, Berries or Dinkleberrians?

  7. Even as a kid going to Bible School, the story of Adam and Eve made absolutely no sense to me. Nothing's changed since then. Great post.

  8. The religion of Goo2u is destructive.
    These people actualize their version of atheists’ changeable relative morality:
    Murderers, child molesters, child/adult porn supporters, adulterers, organized crime members, violent gang members, sex slavery supporters, sex workers/supporters, pimps, corrupt politicians, corrupt cops, white collar criminals, blue collar criminals, bank robbers, convenient store robbers, corrupt teachers, home invaders, drug cartels, drug dealers, drug users, drug farmers, spouse beaters, carjackers, rioters, corrupt religious leaders, dishonest nonbelievers, sexual deviants, malicious doctors/nurses, corrupt school leaders, malicious military members, arsonists, corrupt builders, corrupt government employees, corrupt hospital leaders, corrupt pharmacy leaders/sales personnel, corrupt business owners, corrupt employees, corrupt managers, bigots, racists, corrupt judges, corrupt lawyers, corrupt witnesses, deliberate HIV/other STDs spreaders, malicious dictators, corrupt pro athletes, corrupt scientists, bullies, etc.
    Religion is ideas for dealing with nonphysical things in life.
    Naturalism/atheism/secular humanism (Goo2U) are religions of using physical things as proof the Creator of the physical things doesn't exist.
    The Bible contains more Truth than issues for fault-finders.

  9. Evidence of God the Creator: The universe and everything in it and your nonphysical soul using your nonphysical mind – continuously created by your physical brain, that doesn't know it is a mind-producing brain – to read this.
    Evidence of the vileness of atheism: All criminal/pervs – souls who are disconnected from living to honor God. Atheists believe religions are the problem. People, including atheists, are the problem.

  10. You know, I honestly forgot that pain during childbirth was supposedly a punishment for Eve's sin. Does that mean that Christian women aren't allowed epidurals? Trying to circumvent God's punishment with pharmaceuticals seems like the sort of thing god-fearing Christians shouldn't be doing.

  11. Do you think the reason Adam and Eve got ashamed for being naked was because the fruit made them realize that they were * clears throat * bellow average in certain areas.

  12. Then afterwords they are punished; Why then are all the animals being punished for? I have seen farm animals being born. Trust me THEY FELT PAIN!

  13. My question is this… if god made Adam first, then made Eve out of Adam’s rib, then, why do men have nipples?
    Science has a perfect explanation, but Christians know that science isn’t real. So, idiots? I mean, Christians… what’s the answer?

  14. OK iam not going to try to convince you there is a God. Iam gonna ask u. How do u create a universe. It has to start some where with something. Imagine trying to make a book. From nothing. Can it be done.

  15. 1:53 Sperm whale, pussy cat, horny toad. Something seems to be on Adam's mind. He probably doesn't need to use his HAND to point to things! Anyway his hands are too busy.

  16. Great satire! Rumor has it you are a comedian. I'll be waiting for you to back up your claims (that the story of Adam and Eve is a myth) with actual, serious arguments when you are done preaching to your fellow atheists.

  17. WHY DO YOU TWIST THE TRUTH? if youre saying the Bible isnt at all true then why are you not telling the truth at all and telling the Bible in your own twisted way. if you wanted to use the Bible to show us the truth, use it word for word or at least in summary. this doesn't do the Bible justice. what you're doing it keeping those who haven't read the Bible away from it.

    so hell wasn't created because of man's sin. hell was made for Satan and his angels. it says that in the Bible. and there's no fire swordsman, it was an angel with a flaming sword. you got that wrong again.

    and it doesn't say half of the things you mention. like the speed of light or radio active decay wasn't changed. it says the heaven was stretched when it was created, if you stretch space you stretch time so that accounts for other stars being far away and we can see their light because all of space is expanding away from us so it makes sense, they have found out that we are at the center of the universe, look it up.
    and Noah didn't have to have all species that exist today. dogs come from wolves right? like all species today can just come from 1 pair, so the boat can definitely fit thousands of animals and thousands more species can come just from those pairs.

  18. The thing I find a little ridiculous about this is that this guy doesn’t really understand the bible. Some points.
    1. The first part of Genesis at least is known to be poetic in some regard
    2. Genesis doesn’t have to be literal, this is not an excuse, proper literary scholars agree. Hence many, like me, do not believe Earth was created in literal 6 days (the Hebrew most definitely allows for this).
    3. Genesis is an Ancient Near East text and one should not expect Genesis to have the same knowledge of science as we do now
    4. Some Christians think evolution could have indeed be the way God created man, but that while we descended from a common ancestor with apes, God imprinted his image on us, allowing us to become what it means to be human. Ie Christians like me believe the evolution of genes did not by itself cause us to become what we are now. This how we explain our sense of morals, love of things like music, rational (which allows us to rule all other animals.), our desire for relationship, etc. Whether a talking snake was real who knows, but Genesis allows for it not be true and just be poetic so to speak. I would still say that there was an original sin that came from the first human to sin, who is called ‘Adam.’
    5. God gave ‘Adam’ and ‘Eve’ the knowledge of good and evil, the reason they were not meant to eat of the tree was that humans were not meant to dictate what good and evil was, not that they shouldn’t know about good and evil (which we do know due to God making us in image, it’s a natural part of our being, which is why of course atheists have and do have good morals.).
    7. I don’t see any reason to say the first humans were dumb, in fact I would say they were not.

    All of this is to say, as a Christian this is a laughable video (being truthfully honest), and I hope someone reading this can get ideas about what some current Christians are actually believing. Just as I know for some Christians this wouldn’t be very convincing.

  19. Nowhere in the Bible does it outright talk about a Trinity. They were always spoken about as individuals. Jesus even prayed to the father.

  20. No one knows what the forbidden fruit was because Adam was only ordered to name all of the animals, so the plants didn't have any names yet. All the fruit was just fruit.

  21. The Genesis stories are not original to the Bible. I'm not sure the Jews who adapted them to the Hebrew Bible ever intended them to be taken literally. You have no better understanding of the story than Christian literalists and you're just going after the low hanging fruit (no pun intended.) Something I see non believers do quite a bit thinking they've won a victory over believers who also don't have the story right.

  22. Okay, I just found this channel. First, where the in the dingleberry was this channel and how did I miss it!? Second, thank you for this channel it's hilarious.

  23. You are ignarent. You said things not in the Bible and also, you know, not everyone takes it literally because it isn't litteral. you also left out cruishall info so maby you should stick to flat erathers.

  24. Children watch bible cartoons as early indoctrination. Adults watch your cartoons to get cleansed of that bullshit they got in childhood. Great job on your part. Keep making these videos. People may get inspired and far outproduce the volumes of garbage vids for kids by replacing them with critical videos.

  25. His real name is El (Canaanite god) or Il and Yahoo. Lots of evidence suggest that Christianity and Judaism descend from a religion which believed in many gods but only one god for each nation and that religion came from a polytheistic religion which came from many tribal monotheistic religions. Then the religion of Isreal right before the Babylonian exile borrowed elements from Greek, Persian, Roman and Norse religions to become what Christianity and Judaism are Today. Most religions around the World seem to follow this pattern.

  26. Whoa. You're so pissed off at how much life sucks (& who could blame u), that u didn't even bother to actually look into the origin of the genesis book did u(?)

    Most people don't, even if they're in a religion.

    Interesting facts;
    Genesis (not me or "my interpretation") says :
    Adam and Eve were NOT the only two people created. All races were created on the sixth day. It's crazy more people don't know that.

    It never says a the serpent/ evil creature talked to them to make them eat an apple.
    It was the knowledge of good AND evil.
    beforehand (in the good ol days) they only knew good; and had no concept of evil… Until they basically sucked the devil's dick… And I ain't talking about a crack pipe here – They FucKed the serpent.
    (((The word used in Hebrew is "naga" – which translates to "TOUCH" )))
    They were tricked into it and
    Then GOT it ON(:!:)
    And u know how the rest of these story goes… God gets gets all pissed off about eve getting impregnated by a devil creature and yada yada yada, the human race eventually all peoples gets corrupted by human devil hybrids, and there ya go.
    Now you're here dealing with this stupid ass life cuz this God of ours just had to create a physical realm of mankind. It just wouldn't have been fine to keep us all as spiritual beings, oh no … That'd make too much damn sense wouldn't it. Let's just take a risk when we don't really need to.
    Thanks G – man(!)
    Now I gotta get my ass outta bed here and go to this job and other shit I don't feel like doing just like most other people – while this house cat keeps crying every couple of minute cuz she wants to go outside, but two of my housemates don't wanna hear her crying at their window at 4am to come back in…
    Atleast we're not starving to death or somethinG though for sure, I know

  27. Scummy anti-Christian bigot makes another moronic video strawmanning the Bible and Christians, and his hateful bigot bully fans lap his hateful swill up, in order to spew it as abuse at innocent Christians . Holy Koolaid demonstrates why it is only right and proper that MOST people despise Ideological Identitarian Atheist Cultists. They're the most hated religious group because of people like Holy Koolaid and his fans. They read the Bible like autistic retards, then they impute their hateful dishonest retardery onto others. Then THey whine that they're victims because they have no friends and no one likes them.

  28. I'm thinking that the Bible was put together for one reason: To control the population of people. Many of the common laws in ALL COUNTRIES are exactly the same, and you don't even have to speak there language. You are from the USA and you go to Spain, but don't know Spanish. You already know not to steal, lie, murder, etc.

  29. I dare you to make one about Islam and why it's OK to marry 9 year old kids like the muslim role model Mohammed did. Oh wait, don't, you might get killed for that. Better stick with ridiculing Christians. Jesus with stinky lines – that's clever. At least there's not danger in that. I agree that taking the bible literally is nonsense, but not everybody gets that those are mostly allegorys. Some messages like "Don't murder other people" and and "Don't steal" make sense to me.

  30. I have some Favorites. Too many, but sticking to Genesis, Abram’s Wife gives Pharaoh the Clap in Egypt. I’d also like to see a cartoon about Dingleberry’s obsession with Foreskins. That’s just for Starters.

  31. Interestingly, the ad before this video is about "World Bible School"

    Where the host try to explained using the 1st and 2nd Law of Thermodynamics "That energy cannot be created or destroyed, etc" to prove that the Big Bang could not have happened without the intervention of "outside" force.

    Then again move on the usual "Scientist have not proven/explained the origin of the universe…"

    Which again, I think for scientist its better to admit and say, I dont know, but I will keep on researching about it.
    Than, I dont know, so therefore God..

  32. I am not much of a bible reader, but i do recall Isaiah 42:8. The original Jewish scripts of this verse showed God tell his name as YHWH(no vowels), Yehwah(with vowels), or Jehovah(modern English pronunciation). The King James version of the bible later replaced every YHWH in the bible with "lord" as is was said to never use his name in vain. You spent a lot of time with these cartoons, filled with ignorance and lack of research. I will still watch one here or there, the condescending nature is entertaining.

  33. Reasonable people already know, it was actually Adam and Steve. Without carpentry skills, how was Eve to help gentrify the neighborhood,, instilling it with mimosa bars? It all came crashing down, when the alleged pope became a customer.

  34. This god reminds me of my gf. Crazy and fuck up and hates other women. And feed me things that is sinful for her diet. Tsk2x

  35. This is stupid. If you studied any science you would realise adam is an Atom and eve is the Electron on the rib. Creation happens by the splitting of the atom, not by in-bred ancients lol religion IS science! The sooner you realise that the sooner you wake up!

  36. Read Genesis. There is absolutely NO mention of "original sin." God punishes Adam and Eve by making them mortal. We're still mortal today. Jesus came and we're still mortal?! Clearly, God is a total failure.

  37. 🙋🏻‍♂️Soooo Adam Named ALLLL of the Animals before Eating from the Tree of Knowledge🤔 😶

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