Ep. 6 con Jesus Trejo | Tom Segura En Español (ENGLISH SUBTITLES)

Ep. 6 con Jesus Trejo | Tom Segura En Español (ENGLISH SUBTITLES)

Boom… Finally, another episode of Tom
Segura in Spanish. Today, I have my friend, a really funny
and handsome comedian. -Also intelligent
-Where is he? -He’s there, haha…
-Oh… I thought I should take off so he could sit down.
I’m taking his place. -No, thank you for coming, Jesus Antonio Trejo.
-Yes, thanks for having me, Tom. Thanks to you. You just arrived from Las Vegas? Yes, I just arrived and took off
my coronavirus mask. Haha…, and how was it?, How did it go? Yes, I just did one show at eight
at Jimmy Kimmel’s club, and -yes, I did well I think. It was half full.
-Do you like Las Vegas? -Yes but, I can’t be there for more than three days.
-Nobody can. -It gets boring.
-Definitely. Yeah… -You don’t sleep. You drink until 5:00 am.
-Yeah… No more than three days. -When I used to perform on the Bob Freeman’s club
-In Harrah’s, yes. -It was an entire week, from Monday to Sunday. -On Thursday you were already going crazy.
-At that time, like ten years ago, -I did those shows too.
-You did them too? Oh… -Yes, of course in all the casinos
-Ok. -Riviera, Sands, Flamingo.
-Yeah, Flamingo. There are others too, and every time
they offer you a week of work -you think, oh great! a week of work.
-You think it’ll be awesome. -I’ll work for five, six days
-Yeah. -But when you pass three, four days you get sad
-Yeah. When you’ll work at Las Vegas you think
It’s gonna be crazy. You take your T-shirts to sell them
but, nobody buys them, The audience doesn’t care. It’s really hard. -And also the food. They give you a card to eat
-With the employees. That food is really bad. Fuck. You want to die when you’re
eating with the employees. -Not because they’re bad.
-Of course not. But that room, with that food. -They all have a super sad face of
-Super sad. -I don’t get good food. It’s shit.
-And a good wage. -Haha…, but you have some fun at the end.
-Well, yes. I remember when this comedian was starting. What was his name? Rich? -He imitated different artists. What was his name?
-Yes. I was wearing jeans and a T-Shirt once and he told a man that was in the show Do you remember when people used to dress up
to come to Las Vegas, -Now they look like if they were homeless
-Yes, like the homeless. I said fuck. I got ashamed because
I didn’t have any other clothes. They hired me again that same year,
and I came with my -Tuxedo.
-Yeah. My coat, my clean shoes, and my dress shirt.
I couldn’t make anyone laugh. -It completely changed my vibe on stage
-Really? -Yes, I’ll never wear it again.
-Interesting. Once I -use for around two weeks, what is its name? Terno? [tuxedo]
-Yes, a Terno. -With my tie and all.
-with blazer. -And, I liked all the shows.
-Really? Yes. The only thing I didn’t like
was to travel with that. -It’s way easier when you are in a hotel
-Yeah. to take a shower and wear jeans and a T-Shirt after. But if you travel with a Terno
you have to take care of it. -You need to be careful
-And Iron the shirts. -It’s better to be wrinkled.
-Yeah… Eh…, But it’s interesting how the way you dress -changes the perception of yourself.
-Your entire dynamic. -It’s completely different.
-Yes At that time I was insecure. I was broke,
I had no money but with the blazer, the clean shoes and my tie, I thought
they would understand me. -Understand me more
-Yeah… -It’s also authentic you now, and that’s
very important in stand-up. They look at you and say;
Oh, that guy is like that. -Yes, that he’s a real person.
-Yes. We’re doing something similar because
we were born in America but for me with my South American mother
and you with Mexican parents. -You’re doing shows like me in Spanish
-Yes. and also in English. I’ve seen you killing it
in both languages. -Killing the audience with that joke
-Thank you. -about the Marathon.
– Yes, that one. -I saw when you did it in English and,
-Oh, OK. a couple of weeks later in Spanish in Burbank
Yes, in Spanish. And damn, the same. You killed it.
-Haha… Thank you. Yes, I’ve been trying to
get into performing in Spanish. In English, I’ve been doing it for 13 years.
In Spanish for four, five years. And, it’s difficult to try to
change the dynamic of -a language to another, you lose a lot of material.
-Yeah, but that joke It’s the same. They get it the same.
For me, it’s almost like the same. I think jokes in Spanish work better
because they don’t lose their meaning. -All the expression my dad said when
-Yeah. I threw him out; Stupid! Asshole!
There’s no way of translating that essence to English. -I try to but
-Yes. When you tell it in English you know
some people don’t understand it. -Explain what that is.
-Yes. Yes, to try to find something that makes sense
in both Spanish and English. I think that joke works better in Spanish.
I noticed that when I went to Mexico. I was going to Mexico City to Condesa to do some shows. Sometimes in Siete Machos Shout out to Siete Machos and your cousins.
Haha…, shout out to them. There in Siete Machos, I noticed that
the jokes work better in Spanish. -And, how was it? How did it go?
-Yes, the comedians were kind, -they gave me a hand, and the crowds were amazing.
-Really? -Even when it is a new thing there.
-How do they present you? I mean, an American?. -They say; He comes from Los Angeles
-Oh, Ok. and every time I start I have to say. I come from LA
I speak shitty Spanish. They told me to not say shitty because
it means something different. They explained it to me but I don’t remember.
Here it means not good. -I think people understand me but here in LA.
-I love that, they always send me -two thousand emails in Spanish.
-In Spanish? And they’re all like, you shouldn’t say that
or spell this like that. -they send me messages from everywhere
-Obviously. Puerto Rico, Guatemala, Mexico, Argentina. Look here I’ve got a message. Tom, I love your podcast in Spanish.
You speak very well -This is from the one with my mom.
-Oh, Ok. Your mom is awesome. I have some
corrections for you. -Thank you, nobody asked you for that.
-Haha… -No, but this really helps.
-Yeah, it helps a lot. They told me; It’s not, do you know a Mexico?
it is, do you know Mexico?. The “a” is only use with nationalities like:
A Mexican. -Your videos make me laugh a lot and…
-That was Mr. Jirafales haha…, thanks. Here is a message from Mexico: I’ll show you
how to use “fuck” and “fart” in Mexico. -And all are examples like that.
-Haha… I received a lot of messages like that.
with go: go fuck yourself. if you’re cool: you’re fucking cool. I don’t like you: I fucking hate you.
It’s the best: It’s fucking great. It’s surprising: Holy fuck! -What a useful word
-Yeah… They also told me that if you make
a show there, the audience in Mexico -Uh…, here in America
-Yeah. If you swear in a show most of the audience thinks that, -The show will get really vulgar.
-Of course. If they go to see somebody
at The Comedy Store people don’t say: uh, this show
is like going to church. -Yes, like something more familiar.
-But, they told that there, people don’t want you to be so vulgar. -What, the shows in Mexico?
-Yes. Well, depends. It’s like here you now
they already know the comedian they know your style and they know some
comedians will be more vulgar. But they told me that fuck was heavier. -Oh, to use the word fuck
-Yes… -It really depends.
-I don’t know I only know where I’ve performed, like Monterrey,
Saltillo, Mexico City -Do they use it normally?
-Yes, they do. Exactly like the person in the message. Although, one of the first jokes I did in Spanish
was that people use fuck way too much. -They say stuff like, you’re worth a fuck
-Yes. I wonder, how much is a fuck?.
Is it like the peso, devaluing? And, I tried to make a joke about that because
I heard that phrase there a lot. -Did you hear it a lot there?
-Yes, way more than here. -And, how about the word fart?.
-They use it a lot and, in many different ways like “there’s not fart”
-Let’s read the examples. Ok, uh… -Read me an example, and I’ll tell you the meaning
-Ok, great. Everything seems the same. -For you’re drunk?
-You’re so farted. -For flatulence? Fart
-Yes, just fart. -For is there a problem?
-Is there a fart? -As a greeting like hi, hello.
-What a fart. -For there’s no way?
-There’s not fart. For Fast? -It went like a fart, fast.
-Haha… -For bad persons? It reads bad fart.
-Uh…, yes bad fart. -Eh… for attentive?
-To the fart. -Haha…, for there’s no way?
-Haha…, there’s no fart. -Haha…, for a scandal?
-What a fart. -Give me that thing?
-Give me that fart. -Haha…, for you scared me?
-You made me fart. -For I understand it?
-I get the fart. -Haha…, I get the smell
-Haha… -What do I have to do today?
-What’s today’s fart? -This is the situation
-This is the fart. -So, you’re already a fart teacher right?
-Yes, but that’s how the Mexican slang is in Spanish,
that’s why it’s so difficult to learn it. -A word can have 15 different meanings
-Yes, it’s almost like a language in itself. I mean, for somebody that doesn’t
know Mexican slang. because if you’re Mexican, or a son of Mexican,
it might be relatively normal to you. But for somebody from another country,
even if they speak Spanish perfectly -they won’t know or use “there’s not fart”
-Yes, definitely. -Nevertheless, we do the podcast
with Fabricio Copano. -And, it is cool, with no problems.
-But that’s super American. -Yes super but, sometimes people
-Yes. have asked me, when they see your name
on the show flyers Does he speak Spanish? And you speak it perfectly.
If Harry Potter could speak Spanish, -He’d speak like you. I speak like an Alabamian.
-Haha… -Like a real Cowboy
-But, why? Now that we’re talking about this, a few minutes
before we started you said that your parents came here when
your father was 30 years old. -I mean, like grown-ups.
-Yes, like grown-ups. -With your mom or alone?
-No, they met here. My father came from Los Mochis in Sinaloa,
and he came here to work and, he met my mother, she’s from Jalisco. She used to
clean houses and babysit in Palos Verdes. My father used to work at a construction
company, also in Palos Verdes. -He retired after working 30 years with them.
-Whoa… -Also, in the afternoons, he was a gardener.
-Really? Yes, I would help him on weekends.
The thing is they met there. -In Palos Verdes.
-Whoa… -They used to work hard right?
-Yes, they worked a lot. -And, do you have siblings or not?
-No, I’m the only child. -Yes only one.
-Uh… -And do you have siblings?
-Yes, two sisters. -Oh, you have two sisters.
-an older and a younger. -And, do they speak Spanish?
-Well, my older sister a little. -But do they understand it?
-Yes, they do. My younger sister understands it but,
she doesn’t speak it. -But that’s because I spend a lot of time in Peru.
-Oh, OK. -And they didn’t.
-Oh, OK. And also, more time with your mom.
You practiced it more with her. We all understand it because my mom
used to speak to us in Spanish. But I speak better than them because I went to
school in Peru and to college in Madrid. Yes, I studied there too for like six months.
-Oh, OK. If you live in a country, you will learn and
speak the language better. Yes, you learn to speak it better than with a book. Because…, uh… English is infinitive. Because in the books it is like the universal
way of speaking it but, in reality -When you live it, it’s when you get it.
-Yes, definitely. -Yes, I taught myself Spanish, uh…
-Did you speak Spanish at home? Yes, only Spanish but I mean, writing for instance
I tried to learn that alone. -No, I’m really bad at grammar
-Really? Something I like about the phone is that you
can talk, and it shows you all the accents. -Yes, It helps me to teach myself more.
-Did your parents teach you too? Yes, they know all stuff they have learned
from books and all. My father writes some things better in English
than in Spanish for his work. All those technical things of his work like
rebar, concrete, angles. He knows all that stuff related to construction. But he never needed those words in Spanish. -He knows them in Spanish but, in writing I mean
-Oh, writing them. he doesn’t write that well. -Have you seen the new Narcos season?
-No, I haven’t yet. -Did you watch it completely?
-Yes. -And, How was it?
-Unbelievable. -Everything is unbelievable. The cast
-Yeah… -The script, everything is unbelievable
-Yes. Yes, the writers of the scripts are amazing, they are simply genius minds. Those actors are some of the best
I’ve ever seen and, most the people here would never appreciate
that level of talent. There are tons of talent out of America.
Tons of Spanish speaking actors -There are amazing actors in Spain, Mexico.
-In this show they are amazing. -Would you like to act in Spanish, like for Narcos?
-I’d love to. I’d love to do so. Also, I’d love to be a Narco. -Haha…, a real one?
-Yes. -Don’t you dream about something like that?
-No, Never. -No, you don’t get to grow old
-Let’s try it out for a year. A year? -I have people in Peru, there’s lots of cocaine.
-Haha…, OK. I travel there, I find the cocaine. -I send it to Mexico, like in the show.
-Ok. In the show, the Colombians send the cocaine to
his friends in Sinaloa. -And, from Sinaloa, you bring it to America
-No, no. I already got scared. -I don’t want any problems, Tom.
-Haha…, No, but I’d love to act. Of course, me too. -Congratulations on your two specials.
-Oh, thank you. -The English one is out in three weeks.
-Oh, great. -The Spanish one will be recorded in October.
-Still soon. Better be ready to watch it guys. No, but it would be so cool if you could act in Narcos -as an American capo for instance
-I’d love to. -With a chain.
-Yes. -I already have the hair, I only need the chain.
-Haha… -Yes…, with those super skinny jeans.
-Come on Narcos, call me. -He’s part of the Netflix family, call him.
-Give me the cocaine. -That’s all he will need, the cocaine.
-Give me the cocaine and the hoes. -Perfect, there’s nothing left.
-Where’s the money? -Do you want to hear some slang from Nicaragua?
-Yes, let’s read those. Let’s see if they’re different. Sometimes they send me generic slang
like, go fuck yourself. Super generic. -Ok, read them and I’ll figure out the meaning.
-Ok. I’m from Nicaragua… a long time in America…
that’s why… new words and phrases… In Nicaragua, we use different forms of son
of a bitch, some are son of a bitch, son of a great bitch, -son of a thousand bitches. That’s heavy.
-Whoa… really heavy. -Haha… son of a thousand bitches.
-Whoa. That one was really angry, they might have
took his parking spot or something. We also say your ass is itching. Yes, I’ve heard
that one, it means you’re crazy. For instance if you vote for Trump, -you’re ass is itching
-Yes. -Dick, cock.
-Dick. -Bug, that’s how they call it in South America.
-Bug? Also, pecker, prick. -I’ve always heard pecker.
-Yes, me too. -I’ll dick you, dick you?
-It means I’ll hit you. -You only speak dicks; You only speak silly things.
-Stupid things. -Uh… ok…
-haha… -Hey, Blueban.
-Yes. -I’ll send you this message to read in a moment.
-Ok. Ok, haha… The Blueban. He’ll sprout a vein, ok! Not yet, I’ll let you know when, ok. -This one yes.
-Ok. -Have you seen this?
-No. What’s that? This is El Tano Pasman. -This Argentinian guy is a fan of River Plate
-Ok. -one of the best soccer teams in South America.
-Ok. They have…. No, Stop it. -They have won countless trophies.
-Yes, everything. Boca Juniors and River Plate are the most
famous teams in Buenos Aires. This is a fan of River that loves
his team so much that his family noticed that -every time River plays, he gets crazy.
-Ok. -He loses his mind.
-Ok. -His family put a camera. This is actually old.
-Oh, to record his reactions. -He gets crazy. This is famous in Argentina
-Unbelievable. I discovered it recently and it’s already
my favorite thing ever. -I watch this more than videos of my sons.
-Unbelievable. You don’t know how much I love this. That guy
is a complete sicko. -Ok, he’s a complete sicko.
-He’s Argentinian and -when Argentinians swear, it’s almost like music.
-Yes. -They get poetic like Shakespeare.
-Exactly, haha… Shakespeare of swear words. Reactions of a calm man. That’s the son. Ok. -Oh, I see the father.
-It starts slow. He’s already heading. -Stop showing ads son of a bitch!
-Haha… -Go fuck yourself! Son of a thousand bitches!
-Haha… Good, good Ferrari… uh… Come on idiot! Do you have arthritis in
your legs or what? -Unbelievable. Now I understand.
-It’s just starting. -Oh, this is just the beginning.
-Yes. -That’s a penalty.
-Look… -My mom is a bitch!
-Haha… -My mom is a bitch! Who did that stupid penalty
-Haha… -What a stupid lining, lining!
-Pause it… -Do you know what a lining is?.
-Lining, No. Lining is an Argentinian insult,
It is really typical. -A lining is a used condom.
-Oh, ok. Did you notice that when they asked for
the penalty he said, “My mom is a bitch.” -Yes, he insulted his own mother.
-Yes. -That’s the hoe.
-Yeah. There’s a big difference between that and,
son of a bitch. Here, I am the son of a bitch
because we lost the penalty. -He internalized all the damage to himself
-Haha… -My mom is a bitch! A fucking bitch.
-Haha… -I can’t believe it! Fuck!
-Haha… You’re an idiot! A son of a bitch! Fuck Paraguay and your mom! Whoa… You have to be an asshole! Go fuck your mom! -Haha…
-Ok. If this guy were the one that
narrates soccer matches. -I’d watch them all.
-All. -I’ll never lose one.
-Yeah. I’m not a fan of soccer but,
if he was the narrator -I’d watch them all.
-Me too. -That’s why I think the NFL is losing billions
-Yes, billions. -for not putting narrations on the game.
-Haha… -Only on TV.
-Yeah. -and, on the internet that doesn’t have censorship.
-Exactly. -We have to do that, we want to hear it.
-I’d pay $200 a year for that. -I’ll pay you more as long as I hear this.
-Ok, let’s keep on. -He used his hand. Fucking idiot! Come on! Fucking Paraguayan Roman! You’re a son of a bitch! I’m a son of a bitch! Now, he’s insulting both mothers. Fuck! Come on, let’s do three passes, just three.
I’m not asking for 28 like Barcelona. -Just fucking three! Son of a bitch!
-Haha… We lost the ball in the middle. Isabel! -Who is Isabel?
-Haha… Fucking Idiot! Mother fucking Idiot! Pass the ball to Pereira, fucking lining! Poor neighbors, they might think he’s
having a heart attack. -Please, please, one…
-Haha… -Come on, let him shoot!
-Haha… Son of a bitch! That’s why he’s bald. Goal! No, no, no! We’re in second division! Second division! -That’s the other side of the goal.
-He’s breaking everything. Yes, that’s the other side of the goal. I think we’re in second division means
that we’re in group B. Why? The other team has made another goal. He’s saying we’re in second division.
I think it means -You now that… Maybe
-Second Half? that if you lose, you go to another group.
-Oh, ok. Oh, it makes sense, that they went from group A to B.
-I don’t know, but maybe. -Maybe, I’m not pretty sure.
-Poor sir, calm down. -If you’re in Argentina and you know him
-Hug him. -Hug him and please contact me.
-I want to visit Mr. Pasman. I want to meet him. -Tell him to call Tom to invite him on the podcast
-I’d go to Argentina to meet him. -To watch a game with him.
-Totally! -I would love to. Live.
-Live in the Stadium. He’d get kicked out. -Son of a bitch!
-Haha… Ok, keep on. No! Unbelievable!, Insane! The pirates
are celebrating. -I’m a son of a bitch!
-Haha… 2-0 Yes, yes. Now what? He’s breaking things. -Smoking Inside.
-Haha… -Drinking his wine.
-Haha… -It’s a fault, go fuck your sister!
-Haha… -Haha… your sister?
-Fuck! Haha… -If he’d sell T-shirts with “Son of a bitch”
-Haha… -and with “I’m a son of a bitch”.
-Haha… -He would be super rich.
-They’d be sold out. -Go fuck your sister!
-Haha… your sister? -Son of a thousand thousand bitches!
Fuck you J. J. Lopez, Aguilar. Fuck my sister and my father! -and my fucking mother!
-Haha… Haha… whoa…
-Haha… Put your balls on it mother fuckers.
You’re fucking River! -Son of a bitch! Grab the ball idiot.
-Whoa… -I’d love it if he records my voicemail, haha…
-Yeah. -You’ve called Jesus Trejo son of a bitch!
-Haha… -No!, No!
-Haha… -I lost this call! Leave a fucking message!
-Haha… -like that you meant,
-After the tone. -Pip…
-Pip… -Haha…
-Haha… -Poor sir, I mean whoa…
-Whoa…, I love it. What a healthy heart he must have,
his blood is boiling. -He really loves his team
-Yeah, whoa… I want it to ask you something, since
you’re Latino and American. Are the Latinos the only ones that use
little towels in the shower? Americans only have soap in their
bathrooms with no towels. I think that only poor people use
little towels. -Oh, ok. I use them a lot.
-Haha… My American friends… well some, but the majority don’t.
Only black people and Latinos. -Oh, ok. It’s a poor people thing.
-I think so, haha… I use them a lot. -Yes.
-Oh. Americans don’t use them or they use loofahs. -Yes but, that’s only in the last ten years.
-Oh, Ok. -I visited my friend from college once
-Ok. I stayed at his house and, when I arrived he
asked me if I wanted to take a shower. He brought me a towel, soap and
a little towel. I asked him, what’s this? He said
it’s a shower towel. I told him, I’m not poor. Then
I threw it out. -Haha…
-Haha… -You’re a dick, Tom.
-Haha… I’ve stayed with some American friends
and they never have those. You need to have a poor American friend -so he can use those too.
-he’d understand me. One time my friend ask us, whose
shower towel is this? Haha… -He told me to take that shit out!
-Haha… -That’s when they knew I was poor.
-Haha… -In case they didn’t know it already.
-Haha… Yes, I’d always make fun of that. -I think it is something cultural
-Yes, definitely. We never used those. -So, you only use the soap bar then.
-Yes, and I pass through my ass. -Under my balls and armpits
-Oh, ok. -then, my sister would use that soap.
-Oh, ok. Haha… -With all that dirt on it…
-Americans are nasty. -Well, some are nasty but others are clean.
-Yeah. -Ok, now let’s ask Blueban.
-Tell me. -I’ll ask you something in Spanish first
-Ok. Do you use a little towel in the shower? When you take a shower, do you use
a little towel? -A washcloth? No.
-Yeah. Ok, and Enny? -No, I don’t
-Ok. -And Josh?
-No. -None of them.
-Yeah. -They’re all rich, they’re working with you
-Yeah. -Haha…
-Haha… I’m the only one trying to get rid of the
the smell of poverty. Just so you know Blueban.
I told him Yes, we use washcloths and I said
I’m not poor. -So, I don’t.
-Haha… I use a washcloth so I can get
the stench of being broke. -Haha…
-Haha… -Unbelievable.
-Also… -you grew up in a Mexican family.
-Yes. Did you ever go as a child to a house
here and noticed something different? -I mean in any form.
-Yes. One thing was that my mom, as I told you,
she was a baby sitter -in Palos Verdes. Where there are mansions.
-Yes. -Really rich people that don’t use washcloths.
-Yeah, haha… No, zero washcloths. Definitely not. I went with my mom to one and I asked
her, why they don’t use curtains? -We had curtains you know.
-Oh, yeah. -They’d use the plastic ones, shutters
-Ok. -Those old fashioned white shutters.
-Yes, I know. That was the biggest different,
the curtains -that you could see in American houses.
-Yeah, that’s true. For me, something I noticed on my
American-Latino house was that My friends American friends. They couldn’t
understand my mom. She’d speak to us, and they’d look at me like
what? What’s she saying? -She’d speak in English
-Yeah. -but they wouldn’t understand anything.
-Another thing is that for a long time when I was a child I thought you should drink coffee
with lemon. -Who does that?
-My mom. You know, that coffee with cinnamon bars That’s kettle coffee. -But, instead of using cream.
-Yes. -she uses lemon
-Is that normal? I mean there. -Maybe it’s a poor people thing. Haha…
-Haha… but is it normal? -For me it was normal. Once I went to a
-That’s interesting. house, and they mixed coffee with milk.
I was like, What? Hadn’t you seen that before? -No, at that time I was young.
-Oh, ok. -I thought they were crazy.
-Haha… -They were mixing milk and coffee
-Yeah. -and sugar, but my mom would use sugar too. -The thing with food is really interesting. -If there’s an American that…
-Yeah. -I don’t know how to say it
-Yeah. comes to a Latino house -and eats Latino food
-Yes. -You’d see immediately the whoa…
-Yes. -Like when they see the tortilla’s towel
-Yes. they’re always like, what’s this for? -Is your mom a good cook?
-Yes. I love her ribs. -Tamales?
-Yes. Her tamales are amazing. She used to make them sweet, with cheese.
Also, noodle soup. Amazing. Hey, talking about food. Do you have
the recipe I sent you? Make it bigger. -At the end of all the episodes, we read…
-Like the first one with the chicken. -Yes. -This is…
-Ah… -This is Nicaraguan salpicon…
-Nicaraguan salpicon. It looks good. Ingredients. -Bigger, I’m old.
-Haha… A pound of stone hand beef. A… Red and green pepper, onion, garlic, a cup of lemon juice. -Now we have to prepare it.
-Ok, let’s do it. Put the meat in two liters of water with
the garlic and salt for an hour. -Cut the red pepper in small pieces.
-Yes, the red pepper. Also, a green pepper and an onion. Cut the meat in medium sized pieces and, pass it through the food processor. And then mix the meat and the pepper.
I can’t say pepper. -I haven’t heard that before.
-Me neither That’s why I read recipes because they
use words, I have never heard. -That we never use
-Yes. But also they use liters and, -Pounds. It is reversed.
-Yes. Pour the lemon juice, -And we just finished cooking a delicious
salpicon and, it’s time to eat bitch. -I like how they write.
-Yes five stars -to the one who did the recipe.
-Haha… Ok. I almost forgot I have a show here in
Spanish on March 12th at The Comedy Store. The tickets are
available at TomSegura.com on the tour page. And in April Spanish shows in Texas; Dallas, Houston,
Austin and San Antonio. April 20th, 21st, 22nd, 23rd. And then in June in Miami at the Improv
on June 7th. This is all for now but, I’ll do much more. Ok, Jesus. -It’s been a pleasure to have you
-Thank so much. So people can see your projects and shows. I have a podcast with Fabricio Copano
and Francisco Ramos Called No Hay Pedo. You can find it at
@Trifecta on Instagram. My personal Instagram is
@Jesustrejo1 on twitter @Jesustrejo, and also at
Jesustrejo.com Thank you so much. Have a nice day and
don’t forget to greet Your fucking mom! And if you want to message me
[email protected] Thank you Jesus. Thanks to you -and, keep your jeans high and tight!

100 thoughts on “Ep. 6 con Jesus Trejo | Tom Segura En Español (ENGLISH SUBTITLES)”

  1. tano pasman vocalista de banda thrash metal:
    dj skull vomit (aka fart simpson) remix coming soon?

  2. Fuck is there a Rican comic??? Or I can fill in like the way Joe has NAVY guys on. I can be your recurring NAVY guess 🤣🤣🤣

  3. Tom, pinche animal cochino usando la misma barra de jabón que te metes en el culo. Gente asquerosa jajajaja puede ser que sea pobre pero por lo menos no me huele el pescuezo a cagadas.

  4. Buenos nachos con queso en la boca mañana. digamos alrededor de mmmmmmmm 8 o 8:15.
    mantén emplumado hermano. huele las bolas.

  5. Please get Franco Escamilla o Carlos Ballarta !!!! Lets get it Toooom !! also they both have specials on netflix

  6. Check out Franco Escamilla, Chumel Torres, Carlos Ballarta they would be sick Guests plus For a fact all 3 of them have Visas Just saying lol 😂

  7. Finally, a mainstream comedian's podcast for people that are fluent in Spanish. Thanks, Tom… I'm hesitant to show this to my strict Dad, but I probably will end up showing him.

  8. " me paso la barra de jabon por enmedio del culo, los huevos…" pinche Tom Segura estás chido en español también, wey.

  9. Tom la B es la segunda división del fútbol argentino, si un equipo no tiene un buen desempeño en la primera división. Al descender a la B creo que toca ganar el campeonato de la B al año siguiente para volver a la división principal.
    Por eso el tano pasman es ta puto, rabón, bravo, emputado o de la chingada.

  10. Aquí se le ve la jeta(cara en Colombia) al Tano Pasman: https://youtu.be/0PBVC_qx1m4
    Cuando el Tano Pasman cuando River asciende a la A: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Iqh04_P_CE

  11. The old man screaming at River Plate when he says “estamos en la B” he is angry that his team is being relegated they aren’t apart of the first division no more. Im surprised he didnt die of a heart attack tho, in soccer when ur team is relegated its a heartbreaking thing

  12. 188 comments👍🏼lucky number. put more video clip reviews on this. there are hundreads of spanish clips alone on Instagram. why you frontn dog????

  13. I'd like to believe Tom knows about Risitas. If not, I think he'd get a kick out of the original Risitas clip.

  14. Drank 4 shooters and now listing to the pod cast. Sooooo much fun. Than you Tom. Thank you I gforgot guess but you’re cool .

  15. Tom you need to have Franco Escamilla on this podcast. I love your spanish podcast I've laughed so hard to every single video especially when your mother was a guest.

  16. The old man complaining that his team shouldn't have 28 passes like Barcelona is so funny only if you are part of the Spanish speaking world!

  17. Estamos en la b means the team got demoted to an inferior division by loosing this game. Also this guy el tano after this went viral even made some comercials, i think they were razor comercials or something like that. And he went on espn or fox sport too.

  18. Esto me hizo más reír que cualquier stand up. No names. Gracias a los dos. Manda a Bert al pito y haz podcast con Jesús!

  19. Jajajaaj el tano pasman es famoso en Argentina, héroe nacional. Tenes razón tomas, estaba tan caliente porque con ese partido River perdió la categoría en el futbol y paso de la primera (A) a la segunda categoría (B)

  20. English is my primary language, and Tom Segura inspired me to try rapping in Spanish. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I5Qr5QvHv78&t=188s Spanish Rap starts at 3:10

  21. Estamos en la b es que perdieron categoría y se fueron a la segunda división, estaban en primera y ahora están en segunda.

  22. 1,000 times better reading this then hearing retarded bert laugh at his own jokes. Way better than 2 bears and your moms house Christina P is an albatross

  23. Tom, tienes razón respecto a lo de vulgaridad en shows en México, o standuperos mexicanos en general. Checa lo de Polo Polo. Te haria muy bien para tener referencia de como se tocan temas tabú sin tanto uso de "malas palabras".

  24. ese video del viejito argentino es tan viejo que ya debe estar mas muerto ese señor…y la mejor parte es la de la hija con la pastillita..

  25. 24:38 My friends used to love to come & watch cartoons with my dad cause of the Spanish he'd yell at the TV. "Palos, cabron!" was our favorite.

  26. Would fucking love to see uncle Joey here speaking Spanish while smoking that weed and the stars of death. Cheers Tom, muy bueno el podcast. Saludos.

  27. Thanks for the subtitles! I was born in Colombia but sadly after taking ESL in america, i forgot all my 1st language of Spanish. These Spanish episodes are great, keep 'em coming!

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